Architect + Dad = ArchiDad

Sept. 2014. Photo courtesy of Maria Davino - http://www.mariadavino.com

2015 has come to an end. At this time it is customary for society to expect a time of reflection over the year that has passed and insight into the year to come. It's usually accompanied with a "New Years Resolution." I don't do resolutions. Never have and never will. You'll hear more on this in the upcoming ArchiChats. 

As a father, I am currently on the cusp of the creative and verbal expressiveness age, as I put it. You may know it as the terrible twos and rebellious threes. My two cherubs are now learning language, its usage and realizing their own abilities: physical and the emotionally connection. What type of problems could I possibly have?

Sept. 2015. Photo courtesy of Maria Davino - http://www.mariadavino.com

My wife and I are determined to raise smart, polite, socially conscious, healthy, creative and curious faith-filled children. We've done the new parent act buying the unnecessary baby products but smartened up with the second only buying necessities. I should have brought stock in Babies R Us with all we spent. The company wasn't as hospitable when you look at their business practices.. but I digress. Bottom line, even with all the advice you can read and get from parents and relatives, it comes down to you, your partner and that specific child. Everything won't work for every child. There will be trial and error but triumphs come daily and in the simplest form. Being a parent is the hardest thing I've ever done, however it has its priceless rewards. 

As an architect, there are certain drawback that immediately come to mind. Hectic schedules and long working hours are general profession-wide problems. This makes spending time with my family a very conscious effort embedded in my work day. I generally get to drop my son and sometimes my daughter at their schools most mornings before scurrying into Manhattan. However, the evening commute proves to be the most daunting. Completing my needed tasks before retiring to hurry home isn't always simple. I willingly take on the evening's final activities such as during bath and bed time to reconnect with my little ones. FaceTime is always handy when I'm running late or happen to have a night event. I take my fatherliness seriously. As a fellow Architect and Dad said, "I am their only father." At two and three years old they are the most malleable. My presence is of utmost importance. 

There are two major factors not immediately associated with being a parent: 1. a child's brutal honesty & simple approach to life and 2. how a child affects you as a person. 

1. If you don't want to hear the truth then don't ask a three year old their opinion. Children have unfiltered innocence. It's breathtakingly refreshing... at times (haha). Plus they do not over complicate things as adults do. A recent incident comes to mind when I warned my son not to be so rough with his toys or they would break. He has a habit of throwing toys and expecting them to fly. His immediate response was "But why dad!? We can just go to the store and buy another one." Clearly a forthcoming lesson is needed here on the value of a dollar. Can't help but chuckle at the sentiment: simple is good.  
2. Children force you to deal with yourself. Yes FORCE you. Worrisome? They'll test you with daring feats which will make you cringe. Neat freak? They'll smear poop on the dinner table. Temper? They'll dance on your nerves. You must let it all go. You cannot tell a child do as you say and not as you do. They WILL emulate you. Therefore to give proper guidance you must be who you want them to be. 

It's extremely hard to describe an entire day with children with all the occurs so that it is relatable. It becomes even more difficult if the person is unfamiliar with typical child care tasks. Even so, my life was forever changed when these two bundles of joy entered my life in midst of my Architecture Registration Exams back in 12' & 13'. "Dad" is my accepted role that I wear like a badge with honor. "Architect" is my chosen profession which I am passionate about. These combine into "ArchiDad." It's not for the faint at heart but I am unequivocally committed its blending and overall positive progress.   ​