ArchiDad on Father's Day

This year I approached 10 years in the architecture profession. A little over 4 years licensed and almost 6 as a father. As I’ve said in some of my early blogs, I came into fatherhood in the midst of my Architectural Registration Exams. My growing family made my completion all the more sweeter. It’s no surprise then how Father’s Day revives sooo many feelings intertwined with my architectural passion. Although my daily life differs now than 3-4 years ago. 

Related: See how I started I Am A Registered Architect

​My time has shifted from making baby food and heating bottles to helping steer my children to the beginnings in the world of academia. This all while giving them room to investigate their own interests, forge habits for basic life skills and foster a sense of confidence in even their smallest of efforts. And let’s not forget the whole feeding, clothing and providing a roof over their head! It’s no easy task but they are my heart and I am rewarded daily. 

Related: Read the first post Architect + Dad = ArchiDad

​I was asked by a very good friend of mine if I could tell if either of them had similar interest in architecture. It is very soon but their personalities play a big role in this. 
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My son will be 6 in July. He is a boy’s boy.. he loves his action figures and outdoor running, jumping, climbing, rolling around.. you name it and he’s getting messy. He has such a competitive nature too. I wonder where he got that from!?

My daughter will be 5 in October. She is more reserved and definitely a fashionable girly girl. Thanks to my wife, she’s already gotten the hair, make up and nail care bug which she loves. Her dolls and dancing with music makes up an enjoyable day for her. 

​The part that really sets them apart is their artistic sides. My son will build legos and random household items using his hands to create various projects, little models and tools for his role playing fun. While my daughter would rather sit coloring and drawing pictures of people, homes and landscapes pulled from her imagination. It’s a fair split of my enjoyment in designing/drawing and getting my hand dirty building things. Who would have figured!? ​

I think as their father, they’ve taught me almost as much as I’ve taught them. We all know the cliché quotes. Well it takes only one child to relate to them. 

“Don’t take life so seriously.” 
“Enjoy the moment.” 
“They grow up so quickly.” 

I am still struggling with not being so serious  and also giving myself a break from work to relax. My overly analytical brain is always concocting new things to try, learn and master. I have to strategize my efforts efficiently and not take on too much. 

Related: Failure is not the end of the world.

Image and all movie and design credit to Disney 

​An interesting conversation came up recently after watching a Disney movie called “Zombies.” Not what you think, it wasn’t a scary movie at all. In the movie, zombies are tamed due to a special wrist band and lead normal lives opposite a large ‘wall’ (segregated). They were always apart from average humans. After a change in policy zombie high schoolers were allowed to commingle in the regular human school. 

Though they were allowed there, there was a fear (prejudice) of their motives and differences (diversity). My son comes to me and asked “Why don’t the people like them?” I explained that they were different and some people don’t like other people based on how they look or based on their customs. He replies “Well that’s not right and doesn’t make sense.” I hugged and kissed him acknowledging that he was absolutely correct but I had no good reason why it happens.

My son (and daughter) are all inclusive. They try to include everyone in every game or activity. Albeit sometimes to the detriment of their own safety #StrangerDanger. Then I must limit unknown interactions however their heart is always in the right place. In architecture or any other profession in this world, we could use that 5 year old mentality.. 

I have a saying I ask my kids after there’s been an altercation. They both know it by heart:

Are you helping, hurting or making things more difficult

What if us adult thought this simple phrase before we interacted with others?

See stories from other ArchiDads on this Father's Day: 

Jeremiah Russell, AIA - ROGUE Architecture (@rogue_architect)
Happy Fathers Day #archidads

Eric T. Faulkner - Rock Talk (@wishingrockhome)
The Dad -- The Architect

Brian Paletz - The Emerging Architect (@bpaletz)
#Archidad - A modern approach

Rusty Long - Rusty Long, Architect (@rustylong)
Life as an Archidad

Jim Mehaffey - Yeoman Architect (@jamesmehaffey)
Being ArchiDad

Mark Stephens - Mark Stephens Architects (@architectmark)
ArchiDad

Larry Lucas - Lucas Sustainable, PLLC (@LarryLucasArch)
A Daddy Architects Work Life Blur and My Escape

Steve Mouzon - The Original Green Blog (@stevemouzon)
Fathers Day for Architects - The Empty Seat